A year later, Sonoma County set to commemorate October firestorm
Chris Marr Bertozzi vividly recalls standing near the summit of Hood Mountain the afternoon of Oct. 8, 2017, marveling at the sweeping panoramas of Sonoma Valley.
Bertozzi and her daughter, Marlo, chronicled that carefree day by “taking goofy selfies and having a blast together,” Bertozzi recalled.
But it's hard for her to forget the gusts of wind that raced that day through the trees near Gunsight Rock. It was those fierce winds, hours later, that would drive a wall of flames from Calistoga into Santa Rosa and send volleys of fire back and forth across Sonoma Valley. Overnight, thousands of homes were destroyed across the North Bay and 40 lives were lost in Sonoma, Napa and Mendocino counties.
Among the demolished homes was the Fountaingrove house that Bertozzi, and Marlo, 20, had moved into just two months before the fires. The pair escaped, but their cats, Magic and Delaney, were killed in the fire. Also lost: the home on Rocky Point Way where Bertozzi and her then-husband raised their two daughters.
“It's funny - what got me through the whole fire was that I kept saying ‘We are healthy, we are loved, we are OK. We're going to survive. It's not like we have cancer,'” Bertozzi, 52, said.
And then this June, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She's had a lumpectomy and is undergoing treatment.
It's been a year of life-altering tumult, but the bond with her daughter has helped her endure. She plans to commemorate the anniversary of the blazes with Marlo by returning to the fire-scarred Gunsight Rock on Oct. 7.
“The thing that's really special to me is the relationship with my daughter through this all,” said Bertozzi, a fourth-grade teacher at James Monroe Elementary in Santa Rosa. “This whole journey of when we were evacuated and when we were allowed in and we didn't want to visit the site with anyone else around … That's what's stuck with me, the two of us together.”
The unprecedented disaster that transformed Sonoma County and neighboring areas last October has left an uneven landscape of loss and recovery, exacting the deepest toll on those whose loved ones died in the fires. Behind them are the thousands who saw their homes and businesses incinerated, their lives uprooted and livelihoods left in question.
The approaching one-year anniversary of the fires carries a widely divergent and unique significance to all affected by the tragic events of last October. For some, the catastrophe is so deeply painful, its meaning cannot be fully articulated or marked. For many, the anniversary will be a time to pause and remember in private.
For still others who choose to gather with neighbors or fellow residents, a series of public events are planned, starting this week. The county and Santa Rosa's official memorial in Old Courthouse Square includes a series of events and opportunities for self expression Oct. 8 and 9.
“Some people are choosing to be elsewhere, and kind of do their own thing, and a lot of people come together for connection. For some it's a private experience and for others, it's more of a community experience … I guess the best word to use is that it feels raw,” said Wendy Wheelwright, a Sonoma County-based marriage and family therapist who works for the county and manages a project meant to address mental health issues in the fires' aftermath.
'Anticipatory anxiety'
Wheelwright, 42, whose childhood home outside Santa Rosa was destroyed by the fire, said she's seen or heard of many fire survivors who are experiencing “anticipatory anxiety” in the run-up to the fires. It's not unusual in such times for those who have been impacted by trauma to lose sleep and experience physical symptoms, like stomachaches or feeling tense and alert, she said.
“We all feel different. For some people, it's going numb and they're not going to feel anything and might think something is wrong,” said Wheelwright, project manager of California Helping Outreach Possibilities Empowering. “There's different ways of processing. It's OK to feel any one way about it. People will probably feel it just a little more than they normally would. It's nearer to the surface.”
Fire survivor Laura Roney regards the anniversary as a time “most would rather forget.” Her Fountaingrove home of 18 years on Skyfarm Drive is gone, and with it, six generations of family heirlooms. Rebuilding has been frustrating and she's seen beloved neighbors leave.
The amaryllis bulbs that began blooming in her front yard within a week of the fire offered her some solace.
“I kept saying being homeless is hard on your liver - it took a lot of beer for me to calm down,” said Roney, 65, who is renting a home off Brush Creek Road with her husband. “I'll probably drink that day. It's going to be one of those days … it is what it is.”
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