Sonoma mourns Bob Midgley ‒ husband, father, coach

Beloved Sonoma Valley High coach dies of cancer at age 54.|

Bob Midgley was born to be a coach.

Former Sonoma Valley High football coach Mick O’Meara was an assistant coach in the 1980s when Bob Midgley was an offensive lineman for the Dragons. “It seems he was always going to be a coach,” O’Meara said. “He was an enthusiastic coach and really enjoyed coaching his fellow linemen. He was an active sideline coach always supporting his players and they in turn always respected him as a coach.”

Midgley, who taught and coached at his alma mater for 25 years, passed away surrounded by his loving family in the early morning hours of Saturday, Jan. 9. He died just weeks after doctors discovered cancer, which had already spread throughout his body.

When the word first came out about his illness, the community stepped up. Mary’s Pizza Shack had a dine-and-donate day, and on New Year’s Eve, there was a drive-through barbecue dinner that served more than 450 dinners. “The community has been absolutely amazing,” said his sister, Gina Midgley. “It was more than we could imagine.”

Robert “Bob” Dale Midgley Jr., was born in San Francisco, July 23, 1966, to Robert and Velma Midgley. The family lived in San Francisco and briefly in Sacramento before moving to Sonoma when Bob was 3 years old. He attended Prestwood Elementary, Altimira Middle School and was a member of the class of 1984 at Sonoma Valley High School.

As a youngster, he spent many hours at the Boys and Girls Club and was “Boy of the Month” in October 1976. Midgley started playing sports at an early age and played all the usual sports kids play – soccer, T-ball, Little League, Babe Ruth, CYO basketball, boxing, Pop Warner football and, eventually, football and wrestling at Sonoma Valley High, where he earned multiple honors including the Redwood Empire Outstanding Athlete award in football.

His mother, Velma Midgley, said his coaches were impressed with his attitude because he was the first one on the field and the last one off. “He helped set things up before practice and then put things away after,” she said.

After graduating from SVHS, Bob Midgley attended Santa Rosa Junior College and played football before transferring to Chico State where he played rugby since Chico didn’t have a football team. He then attended Sonoma State University to earn his degree and teaching credential and he played football on the school’s final football team. He was injured that season, but the coaches added him to the staff. Gina Midgley said when Sonoma State dropped football, Bob was upset and chose not to walk in his graduation ceremonies.

While working construction for Jody Scott and working part time at Scott’s Fitness Factory, Bob Midgley started substitute teaching wood shop at Sonoma Valley High. When longtime coach Bob McAllister retired from Altimira Middle School, Midgley moved over there for a full-time physical education position. Soon, he moved back to Sonoma Valley High where he continued teaching PE and started coaching football.

Bob Midgley.
Bob Midgley.

“He coached with Jody Scott on the JV level and eventually was the offensive and defensive coach on the varsity team, where he used his experience and guidance to coach many excellent linemen during our championship years,” O’Meara said. “He was a friend, a mentor and male-figure to a lot of his players. He will always be remembered by the players he coached and the students he taught.”

Mother Velma agreed. “Bob stepped up for the little guy,” she said. “He was always taking people under his wing.”

When O’Meara stepped down as coach and athletic director after the 2012 season, Bob Midgley stepped in and took the reins as athletic director and varsity football coach from 2013 through 2017.

In 1996, he and the former Stacey Walker married and they became the parents of two girls – Kennedy and Kassedy – and he passed his love for sports on to them. “Bob had his girls throwing a softball around when they were still in diapers,” his mother Velma said.

Not only did he introduce them to softball, he coached them along the way including their travel ball teams. Kennedy graduated from SVHS last year and is enrolled at SRJC where she’ll be playing softball – when sports resumes. Kassedy is a ninth grader at SVHS and is looking forward to playing softball and basketball.

O’Meara said Midgley showed a special bond with his wife, Stacey, and their two daughters. “He was extremely supportive of their activities and all the sports they chose to play. Bob will be remembered for his positive contributions to SVHS teaching and athletics.”

“He was born to be a coach,” his sister Gina said.

Gina Midgley said her brother was a teacher through and through and urged his students to follow their dreams with passion, strength and stamina, igniting a spark of excellence in each and every one of them. He knew his career choice was going to make a difference to the people he had contact with and he encouraged his colleagues to follow his lead and give unconditionally while working with all their students; especially ones with special needs. He loved his profession and treated his colleagues like family.

His family said he was only unhappy when he lost a football game.

“You didn’t know Bob until you recognized the size of his heart,” she said.

“I was the luckiest sister in the world,” Gina Midgley said. “I was three years younger but we rode our bikes together, I hung out with him – and he took me to the Boys and Girls Club when it was still just the Boys Club.”

“I was blessed to have him as a brother,” she added.

O’Meara said Bob Midgley was especially happy to have coached his nephew, Matthew Robinson and help Matthew continue his football career at SRJC and then Cal Berkeley. “Bob had a special bond with Matthew as a player, coach and uncle,” he added.

Current SVHS Athletic Director Mike Boles said it was shocking and heartbreaking to hear the news. “Bob was always there for everybody. He was there for me when I began my coaching and athletic director positions at Sonoma Valley High School. He provided support, guidance, and was a valuable resource. I had known Bob prior to working at the high school and he was always friendly, personable, and caring about my family.

“Two things stick out when I think of Bob,” Boles continued. “First one being his devotion to family. He was always supportive, dedicated, present, and devoted to Kennedy and Kassedy. I fondly recall the dad and daughter interactions he had after school as we would be setting up for our boys’ basketball practices. Secondly, when I think of Dragon sports, I think of Bob. He was proud to be a Dragon and represented our school, our city and our community as such.”

O’Meara recalls Midgley always wearing shorts. “No matter what the weather, Bob would be in his shorts and there were many foggy, cold nights during football where only a few chose that route,” he said.

His sister Gina said he had a special place in his heart for special needs kids. “He was a giant with a soft heart,” she added.

Bob is survived by his wife, Stacey; his daughters, Kennedy and Kassedy; father, Robert Sr. (Carolyn); and mother, Velma Midgley of Sonoma; sister, Gina Midgley (Cameron); sister-in-law, Terri Howell, (John); Candace Walker and brother-in-law, AJ Walker; nieces and nephews, Christopher, Matthew, Meghan and Jaecob.

The family is planning a celebration of his life when the pandemic is over.

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