Bob Dylan’s crappy apology for his pretty-good book

You pick up a new book by a Pulitzer Prize (2008) and Nobel Prize (Literature, 2016) winning songwriter who has written multitudes. You know one of his songs has these lyrics:

“In a soldier’s stance, I aimed my hand

At the mongrel dogs who teach

Fearing not that I’d become my enemy

In the instant that I preach

My pathway led by confusion boats

Mutiny from stern to bow

Ah, but I was so much older then

I’m younger than that now” *

And a different song has these lyrics:

“Close your eyes, close the door

You don’t have to worry anymore

I’ll be your baby tonight” **

Which style, indeed which writer, will emerge on the pages of this new book?

Bob Dylan has a new book out in stores called “The Philosophy of Modern Songs.” In it, he dissects sixty-six songs, all American in origin yet worldly in derivation. The book currently sits atop the list of best-selling non-fiction books at our local independent bookseller, Readers Books. This worthy tome would make a terrific holiday gift to any Dylan, or popular music, fan.

Each song receives just a couple of pages of Dylan’s ideas — essays really. He holds each song high in the pantheon of American songs, and has a unique, only-Dylan-would-say-that way of discussing them. He “reviews” songs by Jackson Browne, Marty Robbins, Elvis Presley and Warren Zevon, along with 62 others.

Dylan’s essay about Townes Van Zandt’s “Poncho and Lefty,” as sung by Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson, is wonderfully colorful and insightful. It is as if Dylan was traveling with the pair as they sauntered, shot and sexed their way through the Southwest.

His thoughts on “Truckin’” by the Grateful Dead are as rhythmical and dynamic as the song itself. His comment on the band is original. Having toured with the Dead he knows, and he wrote, “They’re essentially a dance band. They have more in common with Artie Shaw and bebop than they do with the Byrds or the Stones.”

Which writer emerged in this book? The great one. The songwriter of our time. Dylan’s “The Philosophy of Modern Song” will not fit into a stocking, but it is stuffed with interesting and provocative insights. Some cool photos, too.

Please pardon me if I sound cranky here.

The other interesting news from the Dylan camp concerns autographed copies of “The Philosophy of Modern Song” that were offered for $600. Turns out that auto-pen signatures were used to “sign” the 900 copies of this book.

Keeping the promise of a real autograph, by Dylan himself, was not possible because, as he said in a public statement, he suffered from vertigo throughout the pandemic. This made “difficult” for him to sign the books.

In a Facebook post dated November 25, Dylan wrote, “Using a machine was an error in judgment and I want to rectify it immediately. I’m working with Simon & Schuster and my gallery partners to do just that.”

Mr. Dylan, you greedy bastard, this is when you issue an apology and return all the money. Maybe even make a few personal telephone calls. You recently sold your entire catalog of songs to Sony for a reported $300 million dollars. Did you really need another $540,000 that badly?

I am reminded of a story I heard about Dylan not too long ago. When asked if he would ever like to play small gigs in intimate coffee houses and the like again like the olden days, he said in that very distinctive Dylan-drawl, “Yeah, but the tickets would be, like, $50,000.”

I have always been a huge Bob Dylan fan. This autograph fiasco has me questioning my allegiance.

This is when the fan needs to decide if the delight gained from the art can be separated from the unseemly behaviors of the artist.

As President Biden says, “Come on, man.” Exactly.

I give “The Philosophy of Modern Songs” 5.5 / 6 strings. I give Dylan’s signature excuse 1 / 6, and that’s only because he’s 81 years old and I cut him a little slack.

*”My Back Pages”

**”I”ll Be Your Baby Tonight”