Reverend Peadar Dalton and his wife Margarita Ramirez believe the way we live our lives truly matters, and that in the course of a lifetime there are times that matter most of all.
Premier among those moments is the wedding ceremony, and their mission is to make the exchange of vows a truly meaningful experience. Through their company, Your Ceremony Matters, Dalton officiates at as many as 100 ceremonies a year, while Ramirez helps make all the arrangements.
He marries couples from all over the country and the world, who come to Sonoma for a Wine Country wedding.
“The gift of the work is that we meet people at a transitional time in their lives,” Dalton said, as Ramirez added, “Wedding ceremonies are one of the last huge rituals in our culture.”
Dalton is also on hand at other significant moments, frequently conducting the services at celebrations of life and baby blessing ceremonies. These events are quite natural for him because in 1970, in his native Ireland, he was ordained a Catholic priest. He moved to Alabama where he was a parish priest for 18 years, and also taught high school religion classes, before receiving a requested sabbatical. He then attended Tulane University and became a licensed clinical social worker.
“I wanted my own sense of autonomy, to be out in the world making a living and dealing with life. Life is more protected when you’re in the priesthood,” he explained. But he still loved the essence of being a priest and being there for people at significant moments in their life. He is, and will always be, an ordained Catholic priest, but he no longer “formally represents the Catholic church.”
Working in New Orleans as a counselor to families and children in the early ’90s, when he was also dating and had one long-term relationship, he was still contemplating returning to the formal priesthood. Then in 1994, at a wedding at Antoine’s in the French Quarter, he met Margarita, and that changed everything.
Ramirez had traveled to the wedding from Marin County, and they found themselves seated at the same table. It was a casual meeting at first, and Ramirez says she barely remembered him when he called her the following Christmas Eve. Then a letter writing exchange began, using handwriting and stamps, which led to a long distance relationship, Dalton’s eventual move to Marin and their marriage on Mount Tamalpias. It was a first and lasting marriage for both.
Ramirez had left a corporate career and became a travel agent, taking small groups to India, Italy and Ireland. Dalton was becoming licensed to continue counseling in California and working at hospitals in San Francisco. He wasn’t comfortable living in Marin, where Ramirez had lived for most of her life, but they both loved Sonoma. In 2001, they took a leap of faith and moved to the Valley of the Moon, not really knowing how their careers would fare here.
Besides helping build their wedding business, Ramirez started Traveling Matters, with the goal of “travel with a purpose.” She has taken small groups to Ireland 15 times, opening her travelers eyes to the culture and the people of Ireland, not just the sights. “I feel a connection to the Celtic history and a connection to the land,” she says of her husband’s homeland, and she even has an Irish passport.
The couple regularly attends Mass at St. Leo’s Catholic Church. “We love being part of the church community,” Dalton said, and he was just chosen to serve as president of the Sonoma Valley Ecumenical Ministerial Association. He is also on the clinical advisory board of Hospice By The Bay.
Ramirez is the chair of Sonoma Valley Slow Foods, and is a very involved member of the Sonoma Valley Grange. She practices yoga, and will be taking a group from Yoga Community on one of her purpose-filled trips next year. She has a backburner goal of eventually bringing groups from Ireland to visit the Wine Country.
When Dalton and Ramirez are selected by a couple to be married, they always reach out to get to know them before the exchanging of vows. They meet either in person or by Skype, and learn what the couple’s expectations are and how they can enhance them. They offer readings, ranging from poetry to the I Ching, using the Bible only if that’s what the couple wants, and marry agnostics as well as churchgoers. “It’s very ecumenical,” Dalton said, but adds if a couple wishes to have their marriage recognized by the Catholic Church, he reaches out to Rev. Michael Kelly at St. Francis and they together make that happen.
Dalton and Ramirez always emphasize family, and are especially sensitive to the children in second marriages. Dalton says that, when he performs a wedding ceremony, he points out to those attending that, “for anyone in a committed relationship, it’s an opportunity to think about their own vows.”
As Dalton and Ramirez sat on their patio during a recent, warm summer evening, Dalton talked to the scrub jay and they were both intent on their cat Mr. Finnegan. The word “we” was in almost every sentence and the kind glances at each other were constant.
It’s not surprising that couples seek them out to be such an important part of their wedding day. Dalton is an inspiring speaker with a charming brogue and a deep spiritual core. Having such a happily married couple be part of a marriage that is just starting out seems like the perfect blessing.
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