Inside Sonoma’s LGBT community, young and old

There is wide support for ‘live and let love’ in Sonoma Valley, says one LGBT teen.|

This past July marked the second year that the Sonoma Valley High School’s Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) and Sonoma Valley’s LGBT senior organization walked together in our local Fourth of July parade. The Gay Straight Alliance is a student-run club that meets weekly to discuss issues in the LGBTQ+ community and strives to fight for social justice. The club has been active at the high school since 2008. I’ve been a member since my freshman year.

Last year, as an incoming sophomore, I was president-elect of the GSA. The parade was coming up and the Supreme Court was about to legalize same-sex marriage, so this felt like an especially important year, and an opportunity to show Sonoma that the legislation had a direct impact on our town, which has a significant LGBTQ+ population. I wanted to invite more people to march with us, so I did some research and found Gary “Buz” Hermes, a long time advocate for LGBT seniors and president of the LGBT senior group in Sonoma. “I’m so glad you called. We’ve really been wanting to do more outreach with the youth for a long time,” Buz said on the phone, and he invited me to speak at the club’s upcoming mixer at Rossi’s.

Like anyone who is not part of the status quo, as a young lesbian I am often in environments with adults where I feel the need to hide – or, if not hide, then to not reveal – who I am. So, to walk into a crowded backyard bar full of seniors with their arms (literally) open to me, who wanted to hear about my experience being gay, who wanted to tell me their stories and struggles, was profound. I invited the group to march with the GSA in the parade, and their response had an energy and enthusiasm in it that I rarely see from my peers.

On parade day, we walked the route along with students carrying the word PRIDE spelled out in balloon letters. The seniors rode in the float. I was nervous as they settled in, as if adults more than five times older needed protection from me, but you never know what to expect. The response from the crowd was overwhelming. People cheered. You could see on their faces that they were proud of us, and proud of our government for taking a stance on equality. As emotional as the parade was for me, it was far more so for the seniors, many of whom have witnessed a degree of intolerance and prejudice that I will not pretend to know first -hand. Before saying goodbye, Buz said to me, “We used to have to hide who we were. Now they’re cheering for us. I never thought I’d see this in my lifetime.”

This year, the seniors helped the GSA raise funds for our float and, once again, we walked the parade route together. Sadly, in contrast to last year’s celebration, we had our minds on the cruel and heartbreaking shooting in Orlando. We veered a bit from the parade’s Jack London theme. Our banner said “Orlando United.” This time our balloon letters spelled out LOVE, which above any other idea, seemed the most appropriate to us, and the most needed. In the back of the float, seniors held signs and waved flags. The response from the crowd on the sidelines was moving. Sure, there were some people who weren’t cheering for us. Who knows what that meant. But in the back of the float one of those seniors, a woman over 90 years old, carried a sign that read, “Born This Way,” and as I looked from the crowd to the float, I wondered, could anyone really doubt her?

The GSA’s relationship with the LGBT seniors has shown me how impactful these kinds of connections can be. The seniors’ stories gives me the courage to march in parades like Sonoma’s, and helps me understand the larger context of our struggle. Community support is desperately needed to provide a safe and secure place for all. We need clubs like the GSA, whose mission is to offer a safe place for all students to express themselves.

With the support of our high school’s administration, we host awareness events like the Day of Silence, an annual event where students take a vow of silence to illustrate the silencing effect of bullying and harassment on LGBTQ+ students.

The shooting in Florida is a large-scale example of the prejudice and violence that our community faces on a daily basis. I am proud of what we are doing, but we must do more. Because when we come together as a community in understanding, we protect one another from the hate that inspired Orlando.  

Alex Garber is a junior at Sonoma Valley High School.

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