Educators embrace gender neutrality

“OK, let’s make teams – boys against girls!”

“As we go outside, boys line up on one side and girls on the other.”

A century of off-handedly organizing classrooms by gender is about to change.

For those who aren’t familiar with the terms “gender expansive” and “gender neutrality,” you haven’t sat in on a two-hour workshop at Sonoma Charter School led by Morgan Darby, the educational director of the Bay Area-based nonprofit Gender Spectrum.

With the campus empty earlier this month for a teacher workday, SCS Principal Kevin Kassebaum and his teachers enlisted Darby to help them better understand the “gender spectrum.” Darby’s organization has been busy teaching seminars at public, private and parochial schools for more than 10 years, but Sonoma Charter is the first school in this area to sign on.

“If a child feels even slightly at odds with his or her biological gender, and they spend each day in an environment fixated on a boy-versus-girl mentality, school can be a truly unwelcoming and uncomfortable place,” said Darby.

The poet Adrienne Rich once wrote, “When someone with the authority of a teacher describes the world and you are not in it, there is a moment of psychic disequilibrium, as if you looked into a mirror and saw nothing.”

Kassebaum says he’s eager to get out in front of “what is becoming a big issue in education – and will only get bigger.”

“Teachers set the tone,” says Kassebaum. “We want to be a school environment where everyone feels safe and included and we want all of our students to graduate with an open mind and an inclusive attitude.”

Gender Spectrum has seen a 41 percent increase in demand for its services over the past year.

So what are the characteristics of a gender-inclusive school?

“Schools need to be proactive, not reactive in creating a comfortable environment for children,” said Derby. “They need to expand their understanding of gender and recognize that it is OK to be a boy, a girl, neither or both, and that every child falls somewhere different on the gender spectrum.”

And, he continued, putting in a gender-neutral bathroom is not enough.

“We ask the schools we work with to admit that they might stumble, but to be willing to tackle broader implementation,” Darby said.

In the coming months, SCS will engage in additional teacher workshops, provide resources on its web site and host a parent information night in May that will be open to the entire community.

Darby stresses that it isn’t about spending a lot of money to help just a few kids feel comfortable.

“As one of the most fundamental aspects of self, gender impacts everybody,” he said. “What adults are beginning to realize is that all kids are impacted by gender-based biases.”

One of Gender Spectrum’s main points is that biological sex and gender are different.

“As I like to say, your gender is not based on what’s in your pants,” said Darby with a smile. And she was quick to point out that the conversation here isn’t about sex or being gay. “Gender and sexual orientation are different. We are talking about how gender is expressed (including roles and interests), the deeply felt sense of being female, male or a combination. Who you know yourself to be and the fact that that may or may not be the same as assigned at birth.”

In enlisting Gender Spectrum, Kassebaum’s aim is to give teachers the knowledge and tools to create a gender-sensitive and inclusive environment for children of all ages.

The school has a $1500 contract for training, a detailed evaluation and action plan and follow-up support as needed. It is Kassenbaum’s hope and expectation that two years out, Sonoma Charter will be formally recognized as a gender-neutral-friendly campus and be able to put that accreditation on the school’s website and admissions materials. “We want to both create a culture of awareness and acceptance among all of our students and work closely with those students needing individual support,” he said.

A parent of one transgender child at the school said that, thanks to new conversations that are happening on campus, her child is feeling less anxious now. “We have such an inclusive community here, and the teachers are quickly adopting gender-neutral teaching styles and encouraging open conversation,” she said. Still, she worries about the road ahead.

“It drives me crazy when parents joke that a student might choose this path for fun, or for attention or for an advantage in sport,” said the parent. “No one would.” Whether it is sports teams, or field trips where Charter students are mixed with other schools, “we’re quickly realizing that people are afraid of what they don’t understand.”

Tolerance as it relates to gender identity is definitely a school-safety issue. According to Gender Spectrum, 50 percent of all elementary and middle school bullying incidents are based on gender or orientation slurs. These comments include making fun of someone because they are too feminine or too masculine or seem gay. In fact, research has found that 90 percent of all school shootings had an element of gender bullying.

The issue is in the news almost every day now and the courts are stepping in:

• In mid-2013, California was the first state to pass a law requiring K-12 schools to allow students to use the male or female bathrooms and locker rooms in public schools, based on the student’s gender self-identification.

• The same bill (SB 1266) allows transgender children to participate in school sports teams of the sex in which they identify.

• Governor Brown also signed into law (SB 1306) a change in California’s marriage code last year to remove the words “husband and wife” in place of neutral terms like “spouse” and “married persons.”

• At the start of this school year, the University of California was the first college system to designate gender-neutral restrooms at all of its campuses to accommodate transgender students.

• President Obama’s 2015 State of the Union address marked the first time a U.S. President has used the words “transgender” and “bisexual” in a State of the Union address.

• And just two weeks ago, President Obama called for the end of “conversion therapy” for gay and transgender youth, and the White House opened its first gender-neutral bathroom.

The grand-?daddy of school equality laws – Title IX – protects gender identity harassment and according to Gender Spectrum, a dozen states have recently enumerated policies that protect gender as a protected class (not just sex).

Just last week, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network hosted a symbolic Day of Silence to bring attention to the silence faced by gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people and their allies. Participants were asked to stay silent or wear a rainbow ribbon to show their support. At Sonoma Valley High School, a handful of students participated, and math teacher Tammy Rivara tried to teach the entire day without speaking.

“This is maybe the seventh year I have participated,” said Rivara. “I want to show support for students who may be struggling with their gender or sexual identity.”

In some ways, entering high school can come as a relief, as most schools, including SVHS have an active LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) club. According to senior Kirsten Storment, head of the high school’s Gay Straight Alliance, there are a handful of transgender students at the school and she thinks that number will increase as more students feel comfortable and there is greater acceptance of the nuances of gender.

Back at Sonoma Charter, the parent I spoke with is following her child’s lead. She appreciates the support of the school as her family braces for the future.

“I guess the most painful thing as a mother,” she said, “is to realize that not everyone is going to accept my child.”

‘It drives me crazy when parents joke that a student might choose this path for fun, or for attention or for an advantage in sport. No one would.’

- Sonoma Charter School parent