Jennifer Gray Thompson's ‘redemption tour' carries on

While Jennifer Gray Thompson is a familiar name and face to many as a longtime Springs resident and aide to 1st District Supervisor Susan Gorin, her backstory is as compelling as her current work on behalf of Valley residents.

Raised by a single mother, Gray Thompson attended a wide swath of Valley schools including El Verano, Dunbar, Sassarini, Altimira and Sonoma Valley High. She ran away from home at 17. She became a single mother living in poverty, but she returned to school and ended up earning a master’s degree from the University of Southern California. Susan Gorin took a chance on her four years ago and today Gray Thompson works passionately on behalf of the town that, she says, “raised her.”

The unabashed progressive told us about her lean years – and the people who helped her pull herself up by her own bootstraps.

You’re now 47 with a grown son, a new husband and a job you love. Looking back, what were the big turning points?

It’s hard to choose just a few.

When I ran away at the start of my senior year at Sonoma Valley High School, it was up to me to make it – and there were dark times. At one point, I had no money, no car, no job, no phone, no TV, no radio, no food.

Having my son, Max, at 22 years old, was another one. He was a surprise and totally changed my life. My son changed my insides and set me on a new path that I hoped would be a good example for him.

I am very happy for these experiences now, but I don’t romanticize how difficult it was at the time.

Another huge turning point was when I was faced with an empty nest, leaving my job at Ursuline High School, navigating grad school and dealing with a distinct lack of interest in anyone hiring a 40-year-old former English teacher. I fell in love with my husband, Douglas Thompson, around the same time.

When did things reach their hardest?

When my son was young, the poverty was wrenching. Money was a constant stressor. I often only had enough food to feed Max, so I primarily ate staff meals at the restaurant where I worked. Hunger is not a theory to me; it’s a memory.

I recall being determined, scared, excited – but most of all, I remember everyone that helped me. I never underestimate the value of the many people here who helped me survive and eventually thrive.

How did your early struggles shape who you are today?

I was born in 1969 to a teenage mother who already had a toddler. My mom was on welfare and the state paid for her to be trained as a psych tech at Sonoma Developmental Center. She worked hard and was able to buy her first home in Glen Ellen at 25 years old with federal assistance. We were poor, but it was possible then. I wish this were still the case today. Lifting a family out of poverty through public assistance has a ripple effect on generations to come.

It never occurred to our family not to try to aspire to greater things because my mother is kind of a badass about these things. It was a rough, crazy, and difficult time, but I am in awe of my mom’s resiliency. She went on to become an attorney, judge and psychologist.

You have credited education with changing your life. How so?

Attending SRJC allowed me to transcend my situation. I have no clue where I would be were it not for their willingness to take anyone in, regardless of high school performance. Not only did I drop out of high school, my GPA was well below a 2.0.

When I wanted to transfer to Dominican College, they insisted on a high school diploma. Mick Chantler, the same counselor who tried to save me at SVHS, helped me graduate at 25 by working with the continuation school to finish my credits.

I went on to do very well in college because I love learning and I suppose I had something to prove. It was very much “Jen’s Redemption Tour”….

Describe your role in county government.

The work that (Supervisor) Susan (Gorin) does is incredibly important because many of the issues are related to quality of life and are very personal to constituents. We have a multitude of land-use issues and a very diverse landscape. We have tension between the tourism industry and the residents. We have extreme wealth and significant poverty.

I walk by Fetters Affordable Housing and know that 60 units are filled with people who really needed that home and Susan made it happen faster because of her advocacy. That kind of change makes me weepy and reaffirms my commitment to this area and to my job.

I live in the Springs and I’m obsessed with the people, the place, the potential. I have 44-year history in the Valley and all that goes along with it, including historical knowledge and relationships. Susan appreciates this experience and she stations me out here three days a week while Pat Gilardi (District Director) works in Santa Rosa.

I’m Susan’s “boots on the ground” here and I report back, get direction and I’m off again. I let her know if something is going well or going sideways. But it often doesn’t feel like there are enough hours in the day.

What’s the most rewarding aspect of your job?

My growing-up history here is enabling me to serve the community passionately. Susan likes to joke about it on our many field tours of the Valley: “Did you live here? Work here? Date someone? Party here?” Because the answer is often, “Why yes…” I love the connective tissue of Sonoma.

My husband also grew up here and his mom and dad were fixtures in town. Almost my whole family is here now... my mom, my grandmother, my sister, my nieces and my in-laws. My stepson Rowan spends half of his time with us and Max is now here too. He graduated from Duke University and now lives three blocks away from me.

What keeps you up at night?

I am a big 3 a.m. worrier.

Sometimes it’s something personal but most often I wake up to review a situation or a project related to work. I wake up a lot these days concerned about national politics, which is dumb because my lack of sleep is not going to change the current administration.

I worry about the strife, the outrage, the angst about issues in Sonoma Valley. I think the national angst is somewhat transferred into local issues. Every single issue seems to incite outrage. The divisive tone, especially on social media, can be disconcerting. I worry that too often we segment people as “other” and decide who they are based upon judgment as opposed to facts.

It is a difficult period and my hope is we make it through with our community intact. Ultimately, we are in this moment together.

Email Lorna at lorna.sheridan@sonomanews.com.