First of two parts
Most people are at least loosely familiar with the name Charles Darwin, the naturalist who formulated the theory (or if you’re a member of some fundamentalist churches, the lie) of evolution.
Evolution holds that all life evolves from simpler and more primitive life forms, to more complex and sophisticated life forms, and that this process gives rise to a phenomenon called “the survival of the fittest.”
At one point on the evolutionary scale, the fittest were almost always those with the greatest physical strength or the best physical defenses. But over time the primacy of the brain overtook body strength and now humans are at the top of the evolutionary ladder (although there is some evidence that we may soon burn that ladder and all perish in the ashes).
Within the human species there are branches of evolution, DNA trails if you will, that lead to dead ends, or over a cliff. And within the annals of the Sonoma Valley police reports there are incidents of human misbehavior that suggest those who performed them are, indeed, headed down an evolutionary dead end, or over a cliff.
These then are the 2013 Sonoma Valley Darwin Award Winners.
A really, really bad check
On Friday, Jan. 11, at 3 p.m., a Los Angeles man was arrested on numerous charges after he tried to cash a faux check at a business in the 17000 block of Highway 12. The man tried to cash a $472 check from an out-of-the-area business on an account that had been closed, and the name on the check didn’t match the suspect’s name. The Los Angeles resident was arrested on charges of felony burglary, felony forgery, giving false identification to a police officer and knowingly trying to pass a check with insufficient funds, also a felony.
Quick turn around
On Wednesday, Jan. 19. At 10:15 a.m., a resident in the 19000 block of Linden Street, who had just been placed on probation the day before, apparently did not expect visitors when there was a knock on his door at mid-morning. When he opened it, he was greeted by Sheriff’s deputies, there to conduct a probation search.
The 29-year-old resident was soon out of luck and on his way back to jail. During the search, the deputies found methamphetamine, marijuana and syringes – and the resident apparently under the influence.
He was arrested on charges of felony possession of a controlled substance, possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia, being under the influence of a controlled substance and a felony probation violation. A 36-year-old female was arrested for being under the influence of a controlled substance.
Houdini could have done it
At 3:30 p.m. on the same day, Sonoma Sheriff’s deputies went to a residence in the 18000 block of Railroad Avenue to make a felony warrant arrest on a suspect charged with possession of stolen property. After arresting the 29-year-old man, the deputies put him in the squad car and began the transport to county jail in Santa Rosa. Before they got there, however, the deputies saw strange movements in the back seat and pulled the car over. They then discovered the suspect, who was cuffed with his hands behind his back, had removed his shoes and, with his toes, was trying to hide the methamphetamine and pipe that was in his sock. He was arrested on additional charges of felony possession of a controlled substance and possession of drug paraphernalia.