Editor, Index-Tribune:

History has shown us how to stop Islamic fanatics from mowing down masses of innocent non-Islamics so they can get a quick passage to the Great Oasis In The Sky, promised to all who kill unbelievers, where they will enjoy a non-stop party with beautiful woman, great food and music, and a river of wine that doesn’t give hangovers or beget fighting.

It was in the Philippines, after the American takeover of those islands following the Spanish-American War in 1900. The Moros were killing all the unbelievers they could with their machetes when they decided to go on jihad.

The U.S. Army put a stop to all that by rounding up all the local Moros, after they had killed a jihadist and made them witness bacon being stuffed in the jihadist’s mouth before he was put in his grave and covered over. It being an Islamic belief that any follower of Islam who eats pork can’t go to paradise, the jihadist’s desires were thwarted and he was doomed to hell.

This, along with the much-improved American government over that of the Spanish (when the church owned 50 percent of the land and paid no taxes), brought peace.

So, for the cost of a few pounds of bacon we could stamp out jihadism!

E. H. Broudreau