‘Coming 2 America’ makes needless return trip

Even though it offers little else, the new film “Coming 2 America” confirms that we still love the 1988 original, “Coming to America.” Re-watching the earlier movie reveals contrasts with contemporary comedies — it’s two hours long, hard R-rated and presents some scenarios of interest to demographic groups besides teenage boys. Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall delivered performances with some sharp edges that have long been worn away. And it’s rather surprising that, for a sequel made three decades after the original, the producers still couldn’t find a black filmmaker to direct. But apparently Craig Brewer — the dude who did the “Footloose” remake — was too gifted to pass up.

While watching this affectless exercise in nostalgia, you might ask: What was the urgency to make this film? OK, besides money (there’s an awful lot of product placement in this thing). “Coming 2 America,” which isn’t a sequel as much as a reliving, begins of course with Murphy’s slightly waxy-looking Akeem, who’s still waiting to be crowned king of Zamunda. He pals around with right-hand man Semmi (Hall), plays with his daughters and wishes he had a son. King Jaffe (James Earl Jones, still kicking) orders a state funeral while he’s still alive (this idea was recently done much better in “Dick Johnson Is Dead”) and intones that Akeem should have put “a stem on an apple” of his own.

In search of a rumored male heir in Queens, Akeem and Semmi again hop a jet to NYC. Scuttlebutt about an earlier version of this project insinuates that Michael B. Jordan was once considered to play Akeem Jr. (with Ryan Coogler directing!) but that did not come to pass. Instead, Akeem meets a young man named Lavelle played by Jermaine Fowler, an unconvincing character paired with an unremarkable performance. Along with his mother Mary (Leslie Jones) and Uncle Reem (Tracy Morgan), Lavelle heads back to Zamunda with Akeem to be a fish out of water in Zamunda. Queen Lisa (Shari Headley) and Princess Meeka (KiKi Layne) are not impressed by the bumptious Yanks, who give Lavelle lessons in pimp walking rather than royal comportment.

Akeem’s better dressed and more warlike counterpart General Izzi (Wesley Snipes), the ruler of Nextdoria, plots to wrest control of Zamunda and surely a coup is needed — of all the actors, only Snipes robustly embraces the dumb-dumb absurdity of this film. He offers his daughter (Teyana Taylor) as a way to unite the kingdoms but, like his father before him, Lavelle won’t be pressed into an arranged marriage. He eyes Mirembe (Nomzamo Mbatha), a “royal groomer” who pins a rat tail on his head and steals a bit of his heart.

You feel the goodwill toward the original film with a starry procession of guest appearances — En Vogue and Salt-N-Pepa vamp, Gladys Knight boards a midnight train from Zamunda, Trevor Noah chortles, and Dikembe Mutombo wags a finger. Still, the film clearly relies on recurring bits from caricatured side characters like barbershop banterers Mr. Clarence (Murray) and rib-nibbling hanger-on, Morris (Hall). And sure, it’s nice to welcome back the raucous, jheri-curled crooner Randy Watson and his crackerjack band, Sexual Chocolate. But the good bits of “Coming 2 America” are skits to watch on your smartphone, not integral parts to a film worth seeing.