Organizing when moving in together

Moving in with someone is a very exciting time. While taking that “next step” in the relationship process is thrilling, the actual process of combining two households into one can be a bit daunting. This is even more the case when the people who are moving in together have kids or simply have accumulated a lot of “stuff” over the years.

So what is the best way to go about it? The great thing about having a passion for organization and productivity is that any project can be more efficient by applying the various ideologies of organization: Create a plan, follow the steps, and enjoy the results. Here are some tips for how to smoothly combine households.

Maintain open communication. This is the most important aspect of combining two households which is why it tops the list. Communication is always important in a relationship and is just as important in making decisions that impact both of you and families if you have them. You each need to be respectful of each other and admit that this will be an emotional process. Being positive in statements and truthful about things will make the entire process easier.

Catalog what you both have. Rather than just guess, each person should take the time to make a detailed list of what you have in regards to furniture, appliances, household items, towels, and even clothes. Once you truly know what you are working with, the combining can begin.

Review the new space. Take the time to roughly plan out rooms. This doesn’t have to be down to every little detail but instead should focus on basics such as room function and where some of the larger pieces will need to go for the best look and flow. Take pictures and measurements and even sketch out rooms to better help with initial planning.

Start with favorites. The easiest way to begin is with items you each either need or love. It might be the coffeemaker or perhaps a really comfortable chair. Starting with favorites usually is a positive step as there is a lot of agreement. However, on items where you strongly differ, agree to disagree and come back to it later.

Be understanding about heirlooms. Items that have a lot of sentimental value needed to be treated with kid gloves. Something may not be your style of feels outdated, but it could have a big emotional attachment for your partner. Consider ideas to freshen up pieces with new pillows, cushions, runners, or drawer pulls, for example.

Remember the importance of compromise. Compromise is the backbone of combining spaces. If both parties do not ultimately agree and are not comfortable with compromises made there can be resentment and hurt feelings that will fester and cause issues down the road. A good rule of thumb is to never force someone to part with something they like. Instead look for alternative solutions such as making a nonjudgmental case as to why it might not work in a certain space, find alternative locations for it, or refinish or reupholster the item. Both people should remember that compromises are part of a healthy relationship.

Edit closets. Closets should be reviewed prior to moving with each person looking to de-clutter and then being honest with the amount of square footage they will need for clothes, shoes and accessories. This is an easier approach rather than showing up on moving day with too much stuff and little patience to make agreeable decisions. If the closet space is tight consider using storage tubs to rotate seasonal clothes in and out.

Get rid of duplicates. Pick the best of the bunch such as the more complete pan set, the better vacuum and the like. While keeping duplicates might be tempting, especially if they are high value items, really only items with sentimental value should be kept as otherwise you are wasting valuable storage space on things you will probably never use.

Keep an open mind. Even if your partner loves something and you truly hate it, at least give it a chance in the new place before saying no. Sometimes it can be surprising how things end up fitting and working well even if you thought for sure it wouldn’t. While you might wish to make a veto later if it doesn’t work, keep in mind that your partner should have the same power if one of your items causes the same reaction.

Shop together. This is one of the best ways to mesh styles. It can be tough to find the time, but when you look at pillows, fabrics, towels, and other items you each gain a better appreciation of styles you are comfortable with. It might be that you even find common ground you didn’t know was there! This also prevents arguments when one person finds something they love and buys it, creating an attachment, only to find that their partner hates it.

Consider rotating knickknacks. When you have lots of decorative pieces consider rotating things seasonally or every few months. This way decor is kept fresh and both of you have a chance to showcase things you like.

Decide what to keep versus sell. After it is all said and done you will doubtlessly have some leftovers. Most items should be sold or donated unless it has a strong emotional attachment or is a seasonal item. If you simply can’t part with extra stuff, make a pact to keep things for 6 months and revisit them again. By then you will probably have less issues with letting them go as you will see that you did not need them.

Combining households can be difficult and stressful, but with a well organized plan the entire process can be made easier and with less conflict which means more enjoyment of the new space and your new life together!