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It probably doesn't behoove one to bad mouth and go off on a profanity-laced rant on deputies when you're wandering around drunk at 4:40 a.m.

Sonoma County Sheriff's Department deputies responded to Arnold Drive and Watmaugh Road at 4:40 a.m. on Wednesday, Aug. 27. It seems that a 27-year-old Sonoma man was wandering around dressed in a pair of shorts and no shoes. The sot had no idea how he got to that location, how much he had to drink or even where he lived. Deputies reported that the inebriate was uncooperative and launched into a profanity-laced rant. Deciding he was too drunk to care for himself, the deputies gave him a free ride to jail.

In other incidents reported to the Valley law agencies enforcement recently: Saturday, Aug. 23:

A 35-year-old soccer mom was cited for battery after an incident between some parents and coaches at a game at Prestwood Elementary School. During a verbal altercation, the suspect reportedly shoulder bumped the victim. The victim wanted to press charges and one witness said it looked intentional.

Sunday, Aug. 24: 12:11 p.m. - During a probation search at a residence in the 200 block of West MacArthur Street, police officers smelled what they recognized as the odor of burnt cannabis. They also found empty beer cans on the floor in the kitchen, and in the 28-year-old suspect's bedroom.  Again, they smelled burnt cannabis and discovered a bag with a green, leafy substance along with two smoking pipes. They sent their report to the district attorney for review.

Monday, Aug. 25:

9:14 a.m. - Someone entered the clubhouse at DeAnza Moon Valley Mobile Home Park and absconded with a 60-inch flat screen TV. Neither the clubhouse nor the TV had been secured. The loss was estimated at $1,900.

Tuesday, Aug. 26:

10:18 a.m. - A man reported that a female acquaintance took him to the cleaners in June. It seems that the woman approached the victim and said she had a $2,250 insurance settlement check but that she didn't have an account and needed help cashing it. The victim obliged and later, the bank returned the check as being no good, meaning the victim was out $2,250. Police said they've had extensive contacts with the 42-year-old woman.

Wednesday, Aug. 27:

10 p.m. - A 23-year-old Boyes Hot Springs man was charged with having illegal fireworks without a permit after one started a small grassfire at the Gen. Vallejo Home. He had a dozen firecrackers including seven M-60s.

Thursday, Aug. 28:

10:45 a.m. - An 18-year-old male was jailed and a 16-year-old male ended up in juvenile hall after a fight at Sonoma Valley High School. Sonoma police reported that it was mutual combat and that it wasn't gang related. Both teens were charged with battery occurring on school grounds.

Saturday, Aug. 30:

5:47 p.m. - Sonoma Police received a report of a dog locked in a silver Honda on the east side of the Plaza. Saturday's high temperature was 100 degrees and although the heat had tempered somewhat, interior car temperatures can still reach 160 degrees within 15 minutes in direct sunlight. Arriving at the car, police found a giant Schnauzer locked inside and no sign of the owners. The sunroof and at least one window was cracked but there was no water in the car. Police managed to open the vehicle and free the dog which was taken to the city kennel. At 7:10 p.m. the dog's owner, a Sunnyvale resident, flagged down a CHP officer to report the dog was missing. She claimed to have only been away from the car 20 minutes. The dog was released to the owner and police are forwarding a complaint to the city prosecutor seeking a charge against the owner of leaving an animal unattended in a vehicle.

Sunday, Aug. 31:

4 a.m. - While on patrol, a deputy found a highly-intoxicated man staggering down the street in the vicinity of Laurel and Linden. The man reported that he was going to his mom's house in Agua Caliente. The deputy decided the man was too drunk and gave him a ride - to jail.

5:21 p.m. - Sonoma police received a report of a hit-and-run accident in the parking lot of Pizzaria Capri on Broadway. Witnesses told police the driver of a green Ford Taurus pulled into the lot, rammed a parked car, backed out of the lot and took off while witnesses yelled at him to come back. They gave police the license number of the departed car, police quickly tracked down the driver, asked if he owned a green Taurus, and he said he did. Asked why he left the scene, the driver said, "Because I was stupid."

Police said damage to the parked car was minor and cited the driver for misdemeanor hit and run.

9:06 p.m. - A dishwasher at a restaurant on East Napa Street was taking a break behind the establishment when a man he recognized approached him and said threateningly, "You call me?" The man apparently thought the dishwasher had been calling his cell phone. He pulled out a knife and repeated the question. The dishwasher said "no" and slipped back inside, locked the door and contacted police. Officers found the suspect near another restaurant on the Plaza, he had a folding knife in his pocket with a three-to four-inch blade and was positively identified by the victim. The 38-year-old suspect was booked into county jail on a charge of exhibiting a deadly weapon.

Monday, Sept. 1:

8:52 a.m. - A winery owner in the 15100 block of Sonoma Highway reported that sometime between Aug. 29 and Aug. 31, someone broke into a wine cellar and a travel trailer that was parked on the property. There was no loss estimate since the owner didn't know what had been stolen and wouldn't until he took inventory.

11 a.m. - A deputy pulled over a vehicle on Highway 12 after recognizing the driver and knowing that she had warrants. The 26-year-old female told the deputy that she realized that she had $75,000 in warrants but she was going to take care of them the next day. It seems that one of the warrants was for driving on a suspended license, and the deputy asked if her license was still suspended. The driver admitted that it was suspended. During a search, the deputy found some syringes that the woman claimed weren't hers. Nonetheless, she was arrested and charged with driving on a suspended license, possession of syringes without a prescription, the outstanding warrants and a probation violation.

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