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‘These aren’t my pants, officer’

A Sonoma man who didn’t have a plausible explanation for the methamphetamine a deputy found in his pants ended up in jail following a futile attempt to explain away both the meth bag and the pants he was wearing.

It was a little before midnight on Sept. 20, when a bicyclist was pulled over in the 21000 block of Eighth Street East by a Sonoma County Sheriff’s deputy because the cyclist had no lights on his bicycle.

While chatting with the bicyclist, the deputy learned the man was on search and seizure probation for a drug conviction, and that provided a timely opportunity for an impromptu inspection of whatever the unlit cyclist had in his possession.

During the ensuing search, the deputy discovered the man had a small bag of off-white powder which appeared to be methamphetamine.

But the lightless-pedaler protested, saying the pants and the powder weren’t his. He lacked, however, a plausible explanation for how someone else had coerced, cajoled or conspired him into wearing pants that weren’t his.

The excuse didn’t flush and Brian Webber, 59, of Sonoma, was arrested on charges of felony possession of a controlled substance and a probation violation.

In other incidents reported to Valley law enforcement:

Thursday, Sept. 6:

6:54 p.m. – Up a tree with limited options. Deputies were sent to a residence in the 17000 block of Carriger Road after a resident reported that someone was inside her house. By the time deputies arrived, the intruder had fled the residence. Deputies headed to a nearby home where they had prior contact with some of the residents. On their way, they saw a man who matched the description of the trespasser. The man ran from the deputies and climbed a tree, a strategy that seldom works for domestic cats, bears or fleeing intruders, there being limited further options. According to the police report, when he inevitably jumped from the tree, the man fought with deputies before they were able to subdue him.

The tree-climber, Kurri Mann, 36, a transient, was charged with felony assault on a police officer, trespass, being under the influence of a controlled substance and a probation violation. Mann was booked into the Sonoma County jail.

Friday, Sept. 7:

7:44 a.m. – Forklift lifted. Sometime overnight, someone – or more likely multiple suspects – knocked down a fence in a vineyard in the 1700 block of Watmaugh Road and stole a $65,000 forklift.

Saturday, Sept. 8:

7:55 a.m. – Jewelry vanishes through unlocked door. A resident in the 1400 block of Lovall Valley Road reported that sometime between June 11 and Aug. 7, someone entered her residence through an unlocked door and made off with a purse and a jewelry box. There was no dollar amount on the loss.

12:41 p.m. – Gambling on ATM card. A Valley resident reported to the Sonoma Police that they had dropped their ATM card while at River Rock Casino and that somebody in the East Bay was using it.

Sunday, Sept. 9:

7:56 a.m. – No more breakfast with Tiffany. A resident in the 18000 block of Lomita Avenue reported that sometime between Aug. 29 and Sept. 8, someone entered the residence and made off with $400 in cash and $7,000 to $8,000 in Tiffany sterling silverware. There was no sign of forced entry.

9:46 a.m. – Another successful probation search. During a probation search of a residence in the 100 block of Tuscany Place, deputies found drug paraphernalia, scales and a pay-owe ledger sheet. They also found some prescription medication, Oxycontin, Fentanyl patches and some methamphetamine. One of the residents admitted that she used half a Fentanyl patch, which are worth $100 apiece on the street, ground it up and smoked it. A 28-year-old male was charged with misdemeanor possession of a controlled substance and a probation violation; a 24-year-old female was charged with misdemeanor possession of a controlled substance and a probation violation; Lisette Kidson, 29, of El Verano, was charged with felony transportation of a controlled substance, misdemeanor possession of a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia and an outside warrant. All three were transported to the Sonoma County Jail.

Monday, Sept. 17:

7:52 a.m. – People living in mobile houses shouldn’t throw rocks. An altercation at a mobile-home park in the 18000 block of Highway 12, landed one man in jail. The suspect, who has had numerous run-ins with fellow mobile-home park residents, started throwing rocks at one resident, hitting the man’s truck and eventually hitting the victim. The victim then put the suspect in a bear-hug to await deputies, but when the suspect tried to reach into a pants pocket, the victim slugged him in the face, drawing blood. The suspect tried to convince investigating deputies that he was the victim, but the ruse didn’t work. The suspect, Samuel Macias, 50, of El Verano, was charged with felony assault with a deadly weapon not a firearm.

Tuesday, Sept. 18:

2:34 p.m. – They came in through the screen window. Tourists renting a residence in the 700 block of Denmark Street, reported that someone apparently removed a window screen and stole $2,000 worth of jewelry.

Monday, Sept. 24:

9:26 p.m. – And they came in through the front door. A resident in the 20000 block of Via Colombard reported that sometime over the previous two days, someone kicked in their front door and made off with $5,300 in cash.

Thursday, Sept. 27:

6:20 a.m. – Thieves going postal. Sometime overnight, someone broke into the Glen Ellen post office. The suspect or suspects, broke out a window and frame to gain entry. They ransacked the postmaster’s office and stole three skeleton keys. They tried to cut into a safe with a grinder, but were not successful. They did make off with $2,300 worth of stamps. The Sheriff’s Property Crimes detectives were called.

Saturday, Sept. 29:

1:04 a.m. – Sticks and stones may strike a windshield, but … A motorist driving in the 18000 block of Highway 12, reported that somebody threw something – presumably a rock – at his vehicle, striking the windshield. There was no damage amount.

12:27 p.m. – Not the best place for diamond earrings. A resident in the 18000 block of Fairview Lane, reported that sometime overnight, someone broke into her vehicle and stole an iPod and a pair of diamond earrings. There was no damage amount. Tuesday, Oct. 2:

3:53 p.m. – Five-finger discounts. Sonoma police were called to Rite Aid to accost a pair of juvenile shoplifters. The pair had wandered about the store picking up cosmetics, but left without paying for anything. A security officer went after the two and escorted them back to the store where they both admitted to taking five-finger discounts on various items. One of the 16-year-olds admitted to stealing goods worth $28.66, while her somewhat more ambitious or dexterous 16-year-old accomplice admitted to taking goods valued at $126.05. Both girls were cited to Youth and Family Services.

Wednesday, Oct. 3:

5:05 p.m. – Probation violation at .273. Sonoma police officers found an intoxicated man walking – or perhaps staggering – in the vicinity of Napa Road and Broadway. The officers found the man was on probation and was carrying a 200ml bottle of vodka, which violated the terms of his probation prohibiting consumption or possession of liquor. Because the man blew an imposing .273 on the breathalazer, he apparently had violated those terms. The 59-year-old Sonoma resident was arrested for public intoxication and a probation violation.

Thursday, Oct. 4:

11:54 a.m. – Oh the cursed unlocked door. A resident in the 1600 block of Castle Road reported that sometime in the previous three weeks, someone entered an unlocked door and made off with, among other things, a $5,000 diamond ring, a $3,000 diamond ring and a $1,500 diamond ring. Total loss was set at $15,000. There are no suspects.

Friday, Oct. 5:

7:03 p.m. – Boozing at the football game. An off-duty police officer working security at a football game on Arnold field, saw two subjects stagger toward the parking lot and get into a pickup truck. The officer intervened and questioned the two, discovering that the driver exhibited the usual signs of intoxication and blew a .19 on a preliminary alcohol screening, then blew a .16 at the police station. The 62-year-old Sonoma man was booked into jail on a DUI.

Sunday, Oct. 7:

10:37 a.m. – Another jewelry haul. Sometime overnight, someone got into a room in a residence in the 20000 block of Eighth Street East and stole a handbag containing expensive jewelry, a digital camera, credit cards, an iPhone and an iPad. Among the missing jewelry was a $7,000 diamond ring and a $4,000 diamond necklace. The total loss was set at $17,745.

Monday, Oct. 8:

11:40 a.m. – Right date, wrong car. While parked at Broadway Market watching traffic, a police officer spotted a vehicle with a cracked windshield and no front plate. After pulling the vehicle over, the officer called the license plate in to dispatch and discovered that while the car had a current sticker, it didn’t belong to the vehicle. The 48-year-old woman driver admitted that she bought the sticker from a friend living in a trailer at a residence on Hyde Road. The woman was cited for having no insurance and a display of false registration.

Tuesday, Oct. 9:

12:40 a.m. – Came in through the bedroom window. A resident in the 800 block of West Spain Street, reported that someone entered through a bedroom window and made off with a cellphone and a laptop computer. The loss was estimated at $600.

11 a.m. – Stealing from the hand that teaches you. Three Apple mini computers were reported missing at Sonoma Valley High School. An alert witness told the school resource office that two boys were acting suspicious, so the resource officer searched one boy’s backpack. The officer found two of the minis. The boy was taken home and, after talking with the parent, the officer found the third computer. The 17-year-old boy was cited for burglary and possession of stolen property.

Thursday, Oct. 11:

1:50 a.m. – He rode off on a red bicycle. Officers responded to a burglary in progress at a tasting room in the 0 block of East Napa Street. Someone living upstairs at the tasting room told officers she heard glass breaking and saw a subject enter the tasting room. The burglar left quickly, but not before taking $200 in cash. The owner reported nothing was out of place and the burglar passed by several computers on the way to where the cash was held. The suspect was described as being 5 foot 8 to 5 foot 10, wearing a dark tan hoodie and riding a red bicycle.