Orwellian safety – a gun in every school
Leave it to the NRA to provide a partial solution to two vexing problems confronting our mourning poleis. To wit: how to increase jobs by getting their unemployed members off the streets and how to increase non-tax revenue.
First by providing at least one armed guard for every school in the country, and by extension, every house of worship and restaurant, the old 1928 Republican prosperity saw, “A chicken in every pot,” now can add “and a gun in every school, to boot,” to inspire a sense of eternal security.
Second, to support these job-creating endeavors, Wayne LaPierre and his ballistophilic myrmidons should buy the latest in assault rifle technology and pay a voluntary fee (not a tax) on all the bullets required for their weekly target practice shooting bad-guy straw-men.
Finally, the only missing component to this dystopian bliss of making our schools Orwellian safe is to fill the jails and prisons with the mentally ill and to elect Big Brother as the House Speaker for life.
Michael F. Heiman