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Steve Jobs’ legacy, version 2.0

Op-ed

Things are about to change in the workplace. It won’t be pretty, and it’s all the fault of Steve Jobs and his incredible legacy of success.

  Right now, every CEO in companies large and small – successful, unsuccessful, about to be successful – are reading the tributes and the obits and looking in the mirror and saying, “If Steve could do it, so can I.”

  Look out.

  Blowhard bosses are a dime a dozen. Blowhard bosses on Steve Jobs-inspired steroids can be ruinous.

  Watch out for: Offsite seminars where the boss loves his ideas and berates yours.

  Midnight meetings because the boss had a lightening bolt of insight and inspiration. 

  Endless whiteboard breakout sessions.

  Twenty-f1our/7 text messages demanding immediate answers.

  Say goodbye to teamwork and hiking seminars in the wilderness. Say hello to tyrannical dictatorships. Sinatra’s “My Way” will be piped into every office.

  Just as Steve Jobs created new industries because of his products, this will lead to a mini stimulus package for motivational speakers who get $25,000 a session. This will be a goldmine for budding Werner Erhards and leadership seminarians.

  Remember the boss’ sure-fire idea for frozen mac-and-cheese with blueberries. Get ready to launch it.

  Remember the boss’ crystal-ball idea for a car that runs on roof-top solar panels. You’re on it. 

  CEOs with financial backgrounds, who were previously inspired by debits and credits, will want to make design decisions and micro manage marketing. Why? Because Steve did.

  Major blunders like New Coke and Netflix will become the norm.

  Market research and focus groups? Forgetaboutit. Steve never did that stuff. Go with your golden gut.

  And thanks to Steve, when CEOs get together for business roundtable meetings, dropping acid is sure to replace the golf tournament.

  The Jobs legacy will not be confined to the workplace. If you’re a parent of a budding genius college kid, get ready for the drop-out argument which goes something like this: “Steve Jobs and Bill Gates dropped out of college. Why can’t I go get my head together in Patagonia, Pamplona or Paris? (Not Peoria or Pittsburgh for sure.) Then I can be like Steve and make you proud and fund your retirement.” Yeah, right. “And by the way, Mom and Dad, can you transfer that idle tuition money to my checking account?”

  Steve, we miss you and all you did for us. As for you middle and upper management stiffs, you have two choices – go with the flow until failure brings the CEO down and the board of directors wises up.

  Or, look in the mirror, be dazzled by what you see and start your own damn company.

• • •

  Bob Gardner lives in Sonoma where he contributes to various good causes when he’s not in San Francisco running The Advocacy Group, which specializes in corporate crisis and political communications.