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Dating for 9-year-olds

Other voices

As a mouse in our car, you would have heard the following conversation:

  Thirteen-year old girl: “I’m never getting married.”

  Dad: “That will definitely save me a lot of money.”

  Nine-year old boy: “Yeah, you just want to have a boyfriend, right?”

  Girl: “No! Boyfriends are too much work.”

  Dad: “Hallelujah!”

  Boy: “Well, I’m gonna get a girlfriend.”

  Dad: “Really?”

  Boy: “Yep. And she’s gonna be pretty.”

  Dad: “Wouldn’t you rather have one that is nice?”

  Boy: “Well, she can be both, I guess.”

  Girl: “Why do you want a girlfriend?”

  Boy: “So I can go on a date with her.”

  Dad: “What will you do on a date with her?

  Boy: “Well, you know … date stuff.”

  Dad: “Date stuff?”

  Boy: “Yeah, like kissing and stuff.”

  Dad: “You know, dating is for getting to know someone to see if you like each other.”

  Boy: “Well, I’ll do that first and then, in about an hour, we can kiss.”

  Dad: “Good plan.”

  Girl: “Good plan? That’s a terrible plan! Girls don’t want to go on a date just to kiss. You have to buy her a milkshake and take her to movies and stuff.”

  Boy: “I don’t have enough money for that. Kissing is free.”

  Girl: “If you don’t have enough money, you shouldn’t be going out on a date. You should be trying to find a job.”

  Dad: “Can I get an ‘AMEN’ to that!”

  Boy: “I have $10.22 saved up. That’s enough for a milkshake.”

  Girl: “That’s for only one date.”

  Boy: “So? We don’t have to go for more dates. How much kissing do you think we can do?”

  Dad: “OK, where are you going to find a girlfriend who only wants to go on one date?”

  Boy: “I’ll go on the Internet … to a dating site.”

  Dad: “You have to be 18 to use those.”

  Boy: “Nope. Only 16.”

  Dad: “Who told you that?”

  Boy: “The guys at Cub Scouts.”

  Girl: “I wondered what those boys did there.”

  Dad: “So you learned about Internet dating from a bunch of 9-year-olds?”

  Boy: “There was one boy that was 10.”

  Dad: “I see. At least he had some credentials. Did this paragon of wisdom mention how to go about finding a girlfriend on the dating sites?”

  Boy: “Yep. He said you have to look at all the girls and see which ones you like best. Then you ask them for a date.”

  Girl: “What if they say no?”

  Boy: “Anyway, I’m not gonna to do it that way.”

  Dad: “Good. I think that is a wise decision.”

  Boy: “Yeah. I’m just gonna put my face on there and wait till they come to me.”

 • • •

  Laura Snyder is a nationally syndicated columnist, author and speaker. You can reach her at lsnyder@lauraonlife.com, or visit her website, lauraonlife.com, for more info.